{"id":1066263,"date":"2024-06-21T09:06:18","date_gmt":"2024-06-21T15:06:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/awmi2.wpenginepowered.com\/?post_type=browse-teaching&p=1066263"},"modified":"2026-05-14T16:02:58","modified_gmt":"2026-05-14T22:02:58","slug":"gods-kind-of-love-in-marriage","status":"publish","type":"browse-teaching","link":"https:\/\/www.awmi.net\/browse-teaching\/gods-kind-of-love-in-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"God’s Kind of Love in Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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God's Kind of Love in Marriage<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t
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God's Kind of Love in Marriage<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t
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Ways to Access This Teaching<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t
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Listen<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t

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Listen<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t

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God\u2019s Design for Marriage<\/strong><\/p>\n

There are very few things in our world today that were ever a part of God\u2019s perfect plan for mankind. The elaborate government systems, with all their checks and balances and laws, would not be necessary if it were not for the corruption that sin produced. The monetary system, with all the buying and selling, would not be necessary in a sinless world that did unto others as they would have others do unto them. And many other things that we consider institutions in our society were never intended by God, but simply are ways of trying to cope with and control the perversion that entered the world through sin.<\/p>\n

But one thing that God established while man was still in a sinless condition and said that it was not good for man to do without was marriage. Genesis 2:18 says, \u201cIt is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet [or sufficient] for him.\u201d<\/em> A perfect man who had none of the pressures or problems that we know of today still was not complete without a mate. And it was not Adam who approached God about the situation and asked for a companion. Adam didn\u2019t know what he was missing! It was God who initiated the whole thing because that was His perfect plan. This all emphasizes the high priority that marriage should have in our lives. However, it has not usually held that position.<\/p>\n

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Wake-Up Call for Modern Marriages<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>Even we Christians today have put very little effort into our marriages, and therefore, we have gotten very little out of them. We have had our vision of what a blessing God intended marriage to be, dulled by the sorry examples of marriage we see around us today. Second Corinthians 10:12 says, \u201cBut they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.\u201d <\/em>This is what has happened over the years. Most couples have no idea of what God intended marriage to be, so they settle for the same substandard relations that they see others experiencing. They think conflict is just a part of marriage; and a couple that simply coexists without outward battles is considered to be an ideal couple, although that couple may have a cold war raging. After all, everybody is having trouble with their marriages today.<\/p>\n

Hope for Every Marriage<\/strong><\/p>\n

Well, I am pleased to announce that not everybody is having trouble with their marriages today! The Lord is moving mightily in this area, and regardless of what the rest of the world experiences, Christians can have God\u2019s best in their homes. God instituted marriage, so He certainly knows how to make it work properly. The only reason two out of three marriages in America end up in divorce is because the people involved don\u2019t follow the instructions God gave concerning marriage. It is that simple. The solution is not easy, but it is that simple.<\/p>\n

What does God say about marriage? From Ephesians 5:22-33, we get quite a bit of instruction. This article doesn\u2019t allow us enough space to deal with everything these scriptures minister concerning marriage, but certainly one principle that is interwoven throughout them all is love: God\u2019s kind of love. It is important that you realize that God\u2019s institution of marriage will only work with God\u2019s kind of love.<\/p>\n

Applying God\u2019s Love in Marriage<\/strong><\/p>\n

In counseling hundreds of couples, I have found that many Christians, even those baptized with the Holy Ghost, are still operating toward each other with the same carnal love they had before they were Christians. In many cases, they have started trying to apply God\u2019s love to their brothers and sisters in the body and have developed a \u201cburden for the lost,\u201d but are virtually the same in their relationships with their mates. God\u2019s kind of love has to be applied to our marriages too.<\/p>\n

One of the most striking differences to me between the world\u2019s love and God\u2019s kind of love is that you can teach yourself to operate in God\u2019s love. Titus 2:4 says that the older women are to teach the younger women \u201cto love their husbands, to love their children.\u201d<\/em> Carnal love is completely motivated by the emotions or senses, but God\u2019s love comes from the heart, and although the feelings are definitely affected, they don\u2019t motivate or deter God\u2019s love.<\/p>\n

Commitment Beyond Feelings<\/strong><\/p>\n

Carnal love is characterized by a naked, little fat boy who goes around shooting people with arrows to cause them to \u201cfall\u201d in love or to \u201cfall\u201d out of love. That simply is not true love. God\u2019s love is the same yesterday, today, and forever. That is the way God is (Heb. 13:8) and God is love (1 John 4:8). People who love one minute and then their mood changes and they act the opposite way the next minute, simply don\u2019t operate in God\u2019s love. You may feel like reacting in anger, but you can choose to operate in love.<\/p>\n

Many people are confused about this and think, I can\u2019t act like I love them when I don\u2019t feel it.<\/em> Oh, yes you can! God\u2019s Word tells us to even love our enemies (Matt. 5:44). It is a command. He didn\u2019t say to do it if you felt like it. If you will choose to do what God tells you to, your feelings will follow. You can teach yourself to love with God\u2019s kind of love.<\/p>\n

Transforming Your Emotions<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>A person who is truly born again desires to do what God says but doesn\u2019t always feel like it. Our feelings have been corrupted by our old lives before we came to Christ. Now that we are in Christ, we have His promise that our spirits have been totally changed (2 Cor. 5:17) and have become like Him. Galatians 5:22 says that love is a part of the fruit of the Spirit. This is specifically speaking of the Holy Spirit; but our new man was born of the Spirit, so it has to be true that God\u2019s love has been shed abroad in our spirits too. We do have God\u2019s love in our new man. Our feelings are not automatically changed, however. Our feelings will continue to act like they were taught to act until we subdue them and bring them under the control of our spirit man. It is not hypocritical to act in love when you don\u2019t feel it. It is actually hypocritical to act on what you feel instead of who you really are in Christ Jesus.<\/p>\n

God\u2019s kind of love is a choice that you make on the basis of what God said, and then act on it in faith until it becomes a reality in your spirit, soul, and body.<\/p>\n

Choose to Receive and Give Unconditional Love<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you can receive this basic truth about God\u2019s love, then you can begin to be consistent in your love to your mate because your love is based on a choice that you have made, not on the way they act. This is the root cause of nearly all strife in marriage. Everything is fine until one partner does something wrong to the other, and then the feathers fly. Aren\u2019t you glad that God doesn\u2019t treat us that way? Romans 5:8 says, \u201cGod commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.\u201d<\/em> Praise God! God\u2019s love wasn\u2019t based upon what we had done for Him or what we deserved but upon His choice to love us. That is all! We didn\u2019t do anything to merit God\u2019s love. He just chose to give it. We can choose to receive that kind of love and then give it to others in the same way.<\/p>\n

Another way to say this is that God\u2019s love is unconditional. Jesus didn\u2019t wait until we were worth it or had repented before He gave Himself for our sins. He gave Himself for us while we were yet sinners and living a life of rebellion against Him (Rom. 5:8). His love was extended toward Hitler just as much as it was toward us. The difference is our acceptance or rejection of it not His offer of love. God\u2019s love is unconditional.<\/p>\n

Practicing Unconditional Love in Marriage<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>We have to put this unconditional love of God to work in our marriages. If you live with a person for any length of time at all, you are going to find fault with them. If your love isn\u2019t unconditional, then you will begin to give them what they deserve, which is trouble. And you can rest assured that when you make a mistake, you will reap what you have sown.<\/p>\n

Choosing Mercy Over Justice<\/strong><\/p>\n

I used to work in a dark room in a photography studio. We had a joke about these ladies who would come in to see their proofs and just throw a fit about how bad their pictures looked. They would say, \u201cThis picture doesn\u2019t do me justice!\u201d I never said it, but in those situations I often thought, Lady, you don\u2019t need justice, you need mercy!<\/em> That\u2019s the way it is in marriage. Our mates, who see us at our worst, have to give us mercy, not justice. Failure in this area is the root of most marriage problems. Many couples actually use their conditional love as a weapon to try and motivate their mates to do things. That will destroy a marriage. If the thing that keeps your mate in line is a fear of your exploding if they mess up, then you are tormenting them. That\u2019s what 1 John 4:18 says, \u201cFear hath torment.\u201d You may see some results through that method, but it\u2019s a fact that you are building resentment and rejection in them, and sooner or later, it will explode. God\u2019s love is unconditional. Make the choice to let God\u2019s unconditional love flow through you and watch how it can transform your marriage.<\/p>\n

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